When Faith Feels Fragile: A Father's Confession
I still remember the night I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the floor, feeling utterly lost. My 6-year-old son was asleep, my wife was unaware of the silent battle waging inside of me. I had been a believer for years, but I had never been a father. In fact, until I graduated from high school, I only had one friend in my neighborhood who grew up with a father in the home, and he wasn't even happy with his dad.
At that moment, I questioned everything:
"God, why did you allow me to be a father in the first place?"
"How will I ever learn what to do as a dad if I was never taught how?"
"What if I make a mistake that ruins my son's life?"
"God, are you even hearing me?"
And if even God was listening, why did my faith still feel so fragile, and why did fatherhood feel so daunting and difficult to me?
As men, we're often expected to be unwavering pillars of strength, especially as fathers. But what happens when the foundation beneath us begins to shake? When life throws unexpected hardships at us -- financial struggles, the loss of a loved one, or simply the wear and tear of daily pressures, and doubt creeps in. Navigating faith and doubt as a Christian father is tough! And if we're not careful, it can consume us.
But here's the truth: doubt is not the enemy of faith; it's just an invitation to go deeper in our walk with God.
You're Not Alone: Biblical Fathers Who Wrestled with God
If you've ever felt guilty for questioning God, take comfort in knowing that even the greatest men of faith wrestled with doubt.
Abraham – Despite being promised countless descendants, he and Sarah faced decades of barrenness (Genesis 15:1-6). Yet, God still fulfilled His promise.
Moses – Called by God to lead Israel, he doubted his own ability and asked, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh?" (Exodus 3:11).
David – A man after God's own heart, he cried out, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" (Psalm 22:1).
John the Baptist – After boldly proclaiming Jesus as the Messiah, he later asked from prison, "Are You the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?" (Matthew 11:3).
Thomas – Known as "Doubting Thomas," he refused to believe in the resurrection until he saw Jesus with his own eyes (John 20:25-29).
Just like me, each of these men had moments of uncertainty, yet their doubt did not disqualify them from God's plan. Instead, their struggles deepened their trust in Him.
7 Ways to Navigate Faith and Doubt as a Christian Father
1. Acknowledge Your Doubt—Don't Bury It
One of the worst things we can do as fathers is suppress our struggles. Hiding doubt doesn't make it disappear—it allows it to grow in secret. Instead, we need to bring it to the light. I often tell the men in our organization, the Real Men 300, "God will only choose to heal what we reveal, not conceal." Even the disciples didn't hide their doubts from Jesus; they brought them to Him, and He met them with truth and grace. "God opposes the proud, but He gives grace to the humble." (James 4:6,7)
2. Lean Into Community
Isolation fuels doubt, but community strengthens faith. Surround yourself with godly men who can encourage you, pray with you, and remind you of God's faithfulness. Consider joining a community of men like ours, Real Men Connect, who encourage, support, and hold each other accountable as husbands, fathers, and leaders. Or you can look a church group, a mentor, or a Christian brother who understands the struggles of fatherhood and faith. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17).
3. Return to Scripture
When emotions cloud our vision, we must return to what we know to be true. The Bible is filled with God's promises, His character, and His faithfulness throughout history. Even when our hearts waver, His Word remains steady. "Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will never pass away." (Matthew 24:35)
4. Pray Honestly—Even in Doubt
Prayer is not just for the moments when our faith is strong—it is also for the moments when we feel weak. Tell God your fears. Tell Him your struggles. He already knows them, but something powerful happens when we lay them at His feet. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Philippians 4:6)
5. Lead Your Family with Transparency
Many fathers feel the pressure to appear spiritually "perfect" in front of their children (or at least I did). But what if our kids saw us wrestling with faith and choosing to trust God despite our doubts? That would teach them that faith is not about having all the answers—it's about trusting the One who does.
Share personal stories of how God has been faithful in the past. Let your children "catch" you reading Scripture. Pray together, even when you don't feel like it. Your honesty will shape their own journey with God.
6. Reflect on God's Faithfulness in Your Life
When doubt creeps in, take a step back and remember how God has provided for you in the past. Keep a journal of answered prayers and moments where you saw His hand at work. This will serve as a reminder that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8).
7. Take Action Despite Uncertainty
Faith is not the absence of doubt; it is choosing to trust God in the middle of it. Just as Peter had to step out of the boat before walking on water, sometimes we must move forward even when we don't feel ready. Obedience often precedes clarity. "We walk by faith, not by sight." (2 Corinthians 5:7).
A Final Word of Hope
If you find yourself in a season of doubt, like I was, know this: God is not afraid of your questions. He welcomes them. He's big enough to handle your fears, doubts, and uncertainties, as well as your struggles. Faith is not about never doubting; it's about clinging to God even when you do.
As Christian fathers, our greatest responsibility is not to have all the answers but to lead our families toward the One who does. So even in moments of doubt, keep pressing in. Keep seeking. Keep believing. Because the God who called you to this role is faithful to equip you for it.
And one day, when your children face their own moments of doubt, they will remember how you navigated yours—with honesty, courage, and unwavering trust in the One who never lets go.