Is Marriage Coaching Right For Your Marriage?
Let’s admit it, most men love sports. We eat and breathe sports. Sports in America is a billion-dollar industry. And if you’re like me, who played sports at either the high school or collegiate level, you miss playing the game and being part of a winning team. And although most ex-athletes will tell you that many of the lessons they learned in life, they learned from sports, we often fail to see how sports can relate to marriage. Yeah, we see the parallels between sports and life when it comes to work ethic, teamwork, discipline, and goals, but we often fail to see the parallel of sports when it comes to relationships with women and in relation to the content of this article how getting marriage coaching is essential to your success in marriage.
Case in point. In the history of sports, no man (or woman) has ever won a world championship or gold medal without having a coach; not one. Not even if it was a one-man sport like wrestling, golf, or bowling.
Every world champion has always had a coach – a wise, experience, objective observer to help them improve their effort, technique, or strategy. So, if you and your wife are indeed teammates, why would your marriage be any different?
Marriage Coaching and Marital Counseling, What's The Difference Anyway?
Marriage coaching is somewhat of a new concept that is finally starting to gain some momentum in modern culture, as the American divorce rate continues to climb every year. Marriage counseling, on the other hand, has been around for decades, but now most men view the word “counseling” as a curse word rather than a cure to save their marriage. And statistics also show that by the time married couples usually get counseling, it’s usually too late.
So, how is marriage coaching different and why should you consider it if you’re struggling in your marriage? Because marriage is a team sport. And just like sports, if you really want to succeed at marriage, you’re going to have a strong team around you to ensure the success of your marriage.
And one of the most important components to your team will be finding and hiring the right coach. So, allow me to show you what I think every man should use include in his scouting report when looking for and hiring the right marriage coach.
Getting The Right Coaching Advice For Your Marriage
Look for a man.
I know this would seem obvious, but it’s not. I’m not saying, a male marriage coach is better than a woman’s marriage coach; just more relatable. There’s nothing wrong with hiring a female as a marriage coach; but having a female coach could potentially create additional problems in your marriage you didn’t have before you found a coach. Trust me, you don’t need another woman to potentially compare your wife to.
Look for a Christian man.
Not because Christian marriage coaches are better than other male coaches, but rather because of the foundation from which they will advise you on your marriage. My adult son once asked me when he was child, “Dad, how can you tell when advice is good advice?” And I told him, “Good advice is only good advice if it’s godly advice.”
In other words, any advice you receive, especially when it comes to your marriage, should be based on the word of God and God’s character. God created the institution of marriage, so any you receive should be “Father-filtered.”
Look for a married man.
Again, a married, marriage coach isn’t necessarily better than a single, or even a divorced, marriage coach, but he will likely be more relatable. You want to find a coach who’s not only been in the trenches, but he’s still in the trenches. A married coach will be able to empathize more with you, and although his wife may be different than yours, he can still share what’s currently working (or not working) in his marriage.
Look for a vulnerable man.
A good marriage coach should be a coach who’s willing to share his “real life” experience with you, not just the highlight reels of his own marriage. This is what makes coaching different from counseling; counselors are more clinical in their observation of your marriage; coaching is more personable. So, you should look for a marriage coach who is not afraid to share the good, the bad, and the ugly, even in his own marriage.
Look for a man with a coach.
Not only do I believe every husband should have a marriage coach; I also believe your marriage coach should have a coach. I often say that a man who doesn’t have accountability can’t be counted on; this also applies to marriage coaches. A coach with a coach will be able to empathize with you as a student, and it also shows how serious he is about his own marriage.
Is Marriage Coaching Worth It?
If you’re over the age of 50, your parents probably can’t imagine a concept like marriage coaching and may even consider it unnecessary. But the success of a marriage is not measured by the length of a marriage, but rather by the strength and quality of it.
Gone are the days of simply co-existing in marriages and closing down your emotions just to follow through on your covenant. Modern Christian marriages are built strong with a team of support, so make sure you find and recruit a winning coaching to support you and your marriage.
Need additional support from a Christian Coach and married man just like you?
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Dr. Joe Martin is an award-winning international speaker, author, educator, and certified “man builder."
Whether you desire to develop a closer walk with God, love and lead your wife and family better, be a better steward of your finances, break a porn addiction, or build brotherhood bonds with other godly men, Dr. Joe Martin and his team of men will make sure you never have to do life alone again and that you never get left behind, regardless of where you’re starting.