Marriage Advice For Faith Based Couples
Building a strong, God-honoring christian marriage takes effort, commitment, and sometimes, a little extra guidance. Whether you're navigating everyday challenges or facing more serious issues, it's essential to have the right tools and support to help your relationship thrive.
As a Christian man, you don't have to go it alone. There are many resources available to help you strengthen your bond, deepen your love, and grow together in your faith.
Christian Marriage Tips For Husbands
In this article, I’ll share with you four (4) proven and effective ways to get the Christian marriage help you need to succeed in your relationship with your wife and to help you build a marriage that both honors God and lasts a lifetime.
Let’s start with…
Christian Marriage Help, Tip 1 - Christian Marriage Counseling
I know this is the dreaded thing that most men don’t want, but every marriage needs. Let me just say this up front, the reason why most men (and couples) don’t like marriage counseling, is because they don’t think marriage counseling works.
Although I’m not a marriage counselor, I often feel sorry for marriage counselors, because I think they get a bad rap. Yes, it’s true that the success rate of marriage counseling ISN’T great, but it’s not because marriage counseling is ineffective (and sometimes it can be), but more so, it’s because couples use counseling in the wrong way.
Marriage counseling wasn’t designed, and it shouldn’t be used, to “save” a failing marriage, but rather to maintain and strengthen a loving one.
Think about it in terms of your car. Do you think it’s better to take your car in for a routine check-up (oil change) or to take it to the mechanic after you’ve blown out the engine. And which would be cheaper?
EVERY MARRIED COUPLE should see a marriage counselor at least four (4) times a year.
Why?
Because it’s easier and a lot cheaper to see a counselor four times a year to maintain and strengthen your marriage than it is to see one four times a month to try and save it.
Seek guidance from a professional Christian counselor or therapist who can provide biblical wisdom and practical advice to address specific challenges in your marriage. You can find Christian counselors through organizations like the Association of Christian Counselors (ACC) or the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC).
Christian Marriage Help, Tip 2 - Christian Marriage Resources and Books
They say you can tell the character of a man by the company he keeps and the books he reads. Well, I believe the same holds true for the quality of a marriage. If you really want Christian marriage help, then seek out and read some of the best books and articles about Christian marriages you can find. There are literally thousands.
Utilize books, articles, and online resources from trusted Christian authors and ministries, like ours and others, such as:
- Focus on the Family
- FamilyLife
- RightNow Media
- Books by authors like Timothy Keller, Gary Chapman, and Gary Thomas
The Book of Proverbs is known as the book of wisdom, and I think it reinforces the power of seeking out wisdom from others. Here are just a few scriptures that validate my point:
Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”
Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
And Proverbs 19:20 says, “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.”
In other words, your marriage will be only as strong as the marriage books YOU read and Christian company YOU keep.
Christian Marriage Help, Tip 3 - Christian Marriage Conferences and Workshops
If the quality of your marriage can be determined by the company you, then it only makes sense to find out where the some best Christian couples go to learn and improve their marriages. So, if you’re looking for Christian marriage help, you should consider attending conferences, retreats, or workshops that focus on Christian marriage, such as:
- Focus on the Family's Marriage Getaway
- Local church-hosted marriage conferences or seminars
Attending a marriage retreat, conference or workshop is akin to renewing your marriage vows. When you and your wife attend events with others who are seeking to seeking to save, strengthen, or restore their marriage, the event doesn’t just teach you HOW to improve your marriage, it reminds you WHY you got married in the first place.
Jesus said in Matthew 18:20 – “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I will be among them.” So, imagine, 200 to 2000 other Christian couples gathered in one room all committed to improving and strengthening their marriage.
My wife and I attended a marriage conference with over 2,000+ couples, and the energy, love, and commitment in that room was so evident, by the time we left that event, my wife and I decided to attend at least one couple’s retreat, conference, or seminar a year for the duration of our marriage.
As the saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together.” Well, we believe, “Christian couples gathered together can withstand any weather.”
Christian Marriage Help, Tip 4 - Christian Marriage Coaching & Training
I know what you’re thinking, what’s the difference between marriage counseling and marriage coaching?
There’s a HUGE difference. As I mentioned earlier, marriage counseling is (or at least should be) about strengthening and maintaining a loving marriage. And good counseling is designed to help you get to the root of the problem that’s preventing or negatively affecting that, by getting you to look back at your childhood, trauma, past relationships, etc., so you can eventually move forward in your marriage.
Yes, marriage coaching is also about moving you forward, but with an emphasis on teaching, training, and equipping you with the tools and skills you need so you can. And marriage coaching is personal and done one-on-one without your wife even being present.
A marriage coach teaches you the practical skills you need to apply in your marriage, like communicating your feelings, learning, and understanding hers, listening skills, and conflict resolution when it comes to the everyday challenges of marriage, whether it be sex, money, faith, family, work, health, or even leisure activities.
The Bible says in Amos 3:3 says, “How can two people walk together unless they agree.”
Christian Relationships Take Work (and Support From Thos Who Can Lead Him)
Let’s face the facts, NO MAN, not even a non-Christian, sets out to sabotage and destroy his marriage or his home. And EVERY CHRISTIAN MAN wants to be a successful husband, father, and spiritual leader in his home. But the truth is less 10% of ALL MEN were ever taught or trained on HOW to be a godly man by a Christian male role model in his home.
In the Bible, there are numerous examples of relationships demonstrating the need for Christian “Coaches” or mentors. Timothy had Paul to mentor and train him; Elisha had Elijah; King David had Nathan; Joshua had Moses; Lot had Abraham; and Peter had Jesus – just to name a few.
After Jesus rose from the dead and revisited the disciples, his last words to them before he ascended to heaven was, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18-20)
In other words, Jesus commanded his disciples to go teach others what he had taught them about being believers and followers of God.
And that’s also the mission of our men’s organization, Real Men Connect, Inc. (501-c3). We are focused on fulfilling the great commission by coaching, training, counseling, and equipping men to better husbands, fathers, and spiritual leaders, so they train-up (disciple) the next generation of men.
As men, we need to understand that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. So, we need to be open to seeking guidance and support to build a stronger, Christ-centered marriage.
And as you seek to build a stronger, more Christ-centered marriage, remember that you're not alone. With the right resources, support, and commitment, you and your wife can navigate life's challenges together, growing in love, faith, and unity.
Don't be afraid to reach out for help when you need it – whether through counseling, practical resources, inspiring events, or coaching/mentoring. By doing so, you'll not only strengthen your marriage but also reflect the beauty of God's design for relationships to a world desperately in need of hope and redemption.
May your marriage be a testament to the power of faith, love, and commitment, and may you continue to grow together in God’s grace and wisdom.
