How To Be A Good Christian Parent
As a father, I’ve learned that parenting is both a blessing and a challenge, especially as a Christian man trying to raise children in today’s world. There have been moments when I’ve felt overwhelmed, unsure if I was truly equipping my kids with the tools they needed to grow into strong, faithful adults.
But through prayer, God’s Word, and the example of Jesus, I’ve discovered that Christian parenting is less about perfection and more about being present and intentional. It’s about leading by example, showing unconditional love, and teaching my children to seek God in everything they do.
So, allow me to share some practical christian parenting tips and lessons I’ve learned—often through trial and error—that can help you embrace the incredible calling of fatherhood with faith and confidence.
Biblical Parenting - How To Effectively Guide Your Family
Christian Parenting Tip 1 - Model Integrity to Your Children
The first and the most important thing you can do as a parent is to be an example to your wife and children, not an excuse. I believe this is the most important tip; because without it, none of the others won’t make an impact if you’re not modeling them through the example you set.
When my son was only 12 years old, I was really struggling as a father. I had made yet another mistake as a single dad in raising him, and I had to apologize to him… again. I found myself disappointed in myself, frustrated in failing again, and feeling hopeless about ever “getting it right” as a dad. I felt like a broken man.
I started complaining to God about my father not being there when I was a child and not having a role model to teach me how to be a father; in other words, I was feeling sorry for myself having a pity party of one.
I confessed to God that I could never be the father he wanted me to be for my son, because I didn’t know how to be. That’s when the Holy Spirit spoke these words to my heart:
“If you want to be successful father, then stop trying to be the perfect dad. There’s only one perfect Father, and that’s Me, not you. Instead, be open, honest, and transparent in being a father. Don’t be afraid about making mistakes; instead, show your son how you take responsibility for your mistakes. Don’t worry about not having the answers; instead, show him why you turn to Me for the answers. Don’t worry about falling apart in front of him; instead, show him how I’m able to hold you together. So, let him see how an imperfect dad prays, seeks Me, loves Me, serves others, love others, forgive others, control his emotions, treat women, keeps his word, repents and seeks forgiveness, shows mercy, worships Me, comfort others, face his fears, etc., all while pursuing, trusting, and obeying Me – faithfully, not perfectly.”
As a dad, modeling integrity is being able to say to my child(ren), “BE who God called you to be, but DO life the way you see me doing it – not perfectly, but faithfully.”
Christian Parenting Tip 2 - Get in God’s Divine Order
As a Christian dad/parent, it’s imperative you teach your children about God’s divine order – i.e., What is most important to God, and how to live a life that’s consistent with that order.
Biblically speaking, God’s divine order is the following:
Christ – Matthew 22:36-40 – “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
Covenant – Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”
Children - Deuteronomy 6:5–7 – “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
Community – Matthew 22:36-40 - “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
Career/Work/Ministry – Colossians 3:23 – “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”
And to follow tip one about modeling integrity, I had to make sure that my schedule, my bank statement, and my daily thoughts reflected to my children that these were the most important priorities in my life.
Christian Parenting Tip 3 - Recruit a Godly Dad
Unfortunately, most men, including Christians, didn’t have a godly man in the home to teach and model for them how to be a godly dad. I know I didn’t. So, like most men, we had to learn by trial and error.
But I quickly realized that wasn’t the most efficient or effective way to learn how to be a godly parent. They say, “experience is the best teacher,” but I think sometimes the tuition could be too high. I think a better teacher would be learning from someone else’s experience; so, I decided I’d recruit a godly dad to teach me how to be one.
I’ve been blessed to find several; but I didn’t find my first one until I was 10 years into fatherhood. You don’t have to wait as long as I did.
Start recruiting a spiritual dad/mentor as soon as you possibly can. Start by knowing specifically what you’re looking for. For me, I was looking for a godly man of integrity who’s life consistently demonstrated and reflected God’s divine order and who’s faith in God made me jealous and challenged me spiritually. But these kinds of men don’t grow on trees; you have to go find them. The key is to actively seek them, not passively expect them to just show up; because you don’t want to miss them if they do.
Christian Parenting Tip 4 - Get and Seek Accountability
I’ve written in other articles some advice I often share with my daughter, “A man with no accountability can’t be counted on.”
I realized that if I wanted to be at least a “decent dad” I couldn’t parent in a vacuum, I had to parent out in the open – at least in front of the people who I admired and respected the most – my spiritual fathers, my best friend, and my Christian brothers in my social circles.
I couldn’t just parent in secrecy, I had to be courageous enough to discuss my struggles with parenting with them. I had to be humble enough to seek advice, training, as well as correction, if I ever wanted to live up to my potential as a godly father.
Our organization, Real Men Connect, particularly our private brotherhood within it called, The Real Men 300, that’s what we do. On any given video call, we will have Christian men with over 400+ years of parenting experience to help us navigate some of the challenges and struggles we all face as fathers. And we are honest, humble, and courageous enough to ask each other questions about fatherhood.
Even if you’re a great dad, I’ve learned that one of me will never be wiser than all of us. Because a good man won’t ever become a great man without the help of godly men.
Christian Parenting Tip 5 - Have a Consistent Quiet Time
This goes back to “Get in God’s Divine Order” by putting God first. After I recruited my first spiritual father to teach me how to be a godly father, I noticed that he and all the subsequent godly dads I recruited were all committed to spending consistent, designated, alone time with God.
This wasn’t just religious activities like going to church, reading the Bible, praying, evangelizing, worshipping, and studying the Bible – which they all did; but their quiet time was focused more on building a personal, intimate, relationship with God.
That Quiet Time consisted of preparing themselves before they entered God presence each day. That included setting aside a specific time and place to meet with God daily; confessing, repenting, and asking God for forgiveness BEFORE reading God’s word. That included reading scripture and then asking God questions about what they just read and how it applies to their life. And that included them to LISTENING to God, and eventually WRITING DOWN what God would reveal to them through the Holy Spirit.
My spiritual father taught me how to do that, and like him, I started to do it consistently (4-6 days a week), until it became a lifestyle. And not only did I learn more about God and myself, I also learned, from God, how to love and lead the people who matter most to me, better.
Christian Parenting Tip 6 - Be Patiently Present
They say that the word “Love” is not spelled L-O-V-E, but rather T-I-M-E. And when it comes to parenting, this is especially true. I learned rather quickly after I became a dad, that “time” spent with my children was worth more to them than receiving “money” from me.
But I also learned that “time” with my children wasn’t just about being in their presence, but rather about being fully present when I was with them. That meant eliminating all distractions including my phone, not playing the car radio, and not watching television whenever they wanted to talk to me about something.
So, I established a rule in the car and whenever I was in the presence of my children, I would be fully present with them by eliminating, or at least minimizing, all distractions.
Doing this didn’t necessarily make me a better parent, but it definitely communicated to my children they were a priority whenever they were in my presence. It also sent a message to them that I loved, respected, and valued my time with them. So, it was a “no lose” proposition for all of us.
Christian Parenting Tip 7 - Find a Timothy to Mentor
I know this may sound a little crazy, but one of the things that helped me become a better dad when I was struggling, was actually helping encourage, support, and train other dads who were younger and less experienced than I was.
I know what you’re thinking, “How could you teach other dads what didn’t know how to do?” Well, I didn’t. I taught them how to learn from my mistakes so they could avoid them. This helped be to become a better parent, because it helped reinforce the lessons I was learning as a father. By mentoring others, I had to share my experiences, my struggles, and my challenges, not only with my accountability partners, but also with the younger fathers in my circle with whom I had some influence.
Jesus last command us in Matthew 28:19-20, before ascending into heaven after his resurrection was, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Godly Parenting Is Not 'Natural' To Most Christian Men
One the main reasons we struggle as dads now, is because we didn’t have other dads then, discipling or mentoring us when they were struggling to “figure it out.” So, if we ever want to break these endless cycles of fathers not knowing how to parent, then we have to make sure we’re preparing the next generation of fathers who are coming up behind us.
As a father, I know firsthand that parenting isn’t about always getting it right—it’s about showing up every day with a heart surrendered to God. There have been times when I’ve doubted myself or felt like I wasn’t enough, but I’ve learned that God’s grace fills the gaps where I fall short.
The most important thing we can do as Christian fathers is to model Christ’s love and faithfulness, even in our imperfections. The seeds we plant in our children today—in how we love, lead, and pray for them—will shape their futures in ways we may not fully see now. So, keep pressing forward, lean into God’s strength, and trust Him to guide you on this incredible journey. You’re not walking it alone—He’s with you every step of the way.
And if you’d like to receive some additional tips on spiritually leading your family, then check out our Spiritual Leader Blueprint: https://tinyurl.com/rmc-blueprint. You can download a FREE copy of it; and I will walk you through 21 Practical Ways to Love and Lead Your Family. And after you do that, please check out our Real Men 300, so you join a team of men who can help you apply our blueprint consistently as a spiritual leader, husband, and father.